The relationship between adult siblings many times doesn’t get nurtured as we have children and must dedicate our time to our own lives. My brother and I grew up in a nurturing environment with our Dad’s large number of siblings. Being surrounded by aunts, uncles, and cousins always created happy memories.
Once the calendar flips to January, I begin to relive Dad’s last days on Earth. The longer he’s been gone, has oddly made the memories of that time more vivid. Last night as I was thinking about Dad’s last night in Hospice, I began to focus not on Dad but the relationship Tommy and I shared that evening. The two of us spent the night in Dad’s room. Dad was resting peacefully on his bed. The nurses had bathed him and shaved him as if he was walking out the next morning. There were two chairs and being the older (more clever) sibling, I chose the one that pulled out a bit to make some sort of place to stretch out a little. Tommy was left with a standard chair.
We spent the next 8+ hours just reminiscing. It was a magical time I’ll never forget. We just talked. About random things in our lives growing up. Remembering how Dad held us accountable for everything we did. How I rarely followed family rules knowing there would be consequences. We laughed – not cried – over family memories. I can’t imagine the joy and pride Dad must have felt, knowing he was living his last hours and his children spent those hours with him sharing memories. Dad wasn’t physically conscious and hadn’t been since he entered a Hospice on Wednesday. Yet Tommy and I both felt him participating in our conversations.
The nurse came in around midnight and took Dad’s temperature. She shared his temperature was rising, which was a normal expectation. She also shared Dad would be made comfortable, as they would continue to drop the room temperature. Tommy had one jacket with him and I had a Texas Tech fleece. She wasn’t kidding about the temperature drop. There was a point the room was so cold we were literally shivering, but Dad was very comfortable. This brought on more laughter, because in our home the air conditioner didn’t go in the window until July 1st and it was removed September 1st.
While Dad’s passing will always bring tears, I treasure the time spent with my brother. Hours no one else would understand nor appreciate. Conversations no one else would consider entertaining. Intense memories no one else would appreciate. That night with Tommy will always remain tucked in my heart. It was a night that brought us closer on a completely different level. What a legacy our father created for us that allowed us to celebrate memories on his last night before entering a Heaven. A simple man who lived life and let us watch.
Treading Water 